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Chapter 1
Chapter 1: The Invitation
The envelope sat on his desk for three days before Rick Larsson opened it. Not a real envelope—it was a manila folder, stuffed with printouts from satellite imagery, topographic survey fragments, and a hand-drawn route sketched in blue ballpoint on graph paper. He'd assembled it himself over six months of evenings spent at his kitchen table, cross-referencing forestry records from the 1970s with whatever he could pull from provincial databases. The folder represented something he couldn't quite name. A door, maybe. Or a last door.
He opened it on a Wednesday in March, during his free period, while his AP History students took a practice exam two rooms down the hallway. Outside the window of Terrace Secondary School, rain fell sideways across the parking lot. It had been raining for eleven days. In northern British Columbia, this was unremarkable.
Rick spread the papers across his desk and studied the route for the hundredth time. The line he'd drawn started at the headwaters of an unnamed creek that fed the Iskut River, roughly ninety kilometers northeast of the last maintained road. The creek—he'd taken to calling it the Nolan Fork, after a trapper mentioned in a 1952 survey report—wound south through a valley that no recreational paddler had documented. No trip reports. No GPS tracks uploaded to any forum. No YouTube videos of grinning kayakers in dry suits.
Just contour lines, tightly spaced, suggesting a river that dropped fast through country nobody visited.
He traced the route with his finger. Four days of paddling to reach a decommissioned logging road that, according to the forestry records, once crossed the river at a bridge. From there, they could hike out to a spur road that connected to Highway 37. Two weeks, start to finish. Maybe less if the water was high and fast.
Rick closed the folder and pressed both palms flat against its surface. His left hand tingled. It had been tingling, off and on, for three months. Sometimes his fingers went numb entirely, as if he'd slept on them wrong, except he hadn't been sleeping. He'd been lying awake in his apartment, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the river.
He picked up his phone and opened the group text he'd created but never sent. Three names: Steph Driscoll, Will Barlow, Andrea Hilliard.
Steph was a paramedic in Kamloops. They'd dated for two years in their mid-twenties, back when Rick was getting his teaching certificate and Steph was finishing her paramedic training. The breakup had been mutual in the way that breakups are mutual when one person says it first and the other agrees too quickly. They'd stayed friends, loosely. Birthday texts. The occasional comment on a social media post. A careful, curated distance.
Will was a carpenter in Smithers, an hour east of Terrace. He was the easiest person Rick had ever known—wide-shouldered, perpetually sunburned, the kind of guy who showed up to help you move and brought beer. They'd been roommates in college, and Will still called Rick every few weeks to talk about nothing in particular.
Andrea was Will's wife. She'd been Andrea Hilliard when Rick first met her—a competitive kayaker who'd placed in nationals twice before blowing out her shoulder. She was sharp, athletic, and had more whitewater experience than the rest of them combined. She was also, as far as Rick could tell from Will's increasingly hollow phone calls, deeply unhappy.
Rick typed the message. He'd drafted it a dozen times. This version was simple:
*I found a river nobody's paddled. Unmapped tributary of the Iskut, up in the Boundary Ranges. Two weeks in June. Real wilderness—no roads, no people, no cell signal. I need three paddlers I trust. You three are the only ones I'd ask. Who's in?*
He stared at the message. Then he added one more line:
*I need this.*
He hit send before he could think about it further.
Will replied in four minutes: *Hell yes.*
Steph took two hours: *Tell me more.*
Andrea didn't reply at all.
---
Rick called Will that evening from his apartment, a one-bedroom above a hardware store on Lakelse Avenue. The place smelled permanently of sawdust and WD-40 from the shop below, which Rick had grown to find comforting in the way that a person finds comforting whatever happens to surround them.
"So this river," Will said. "How gnarly are we talking?"
"I don't know exactly. That's part of the point. The contour lines suggest Class III, maybe Class IV in the canyon sections. But nobody's run it, so there's no beta."
"No beta." Will let out a low whistle. "Andrea's going to love that."
"She hasn't replied."
"She will. I told her about it at dinner. She's thinking."
"You told her about it?"
"Yeah, I said we should go. Both of us. She needs to get out of this house, Rick. We both do."
Rick heard something in Will's voice—a tightness that didn't belong there. Will Barlow was not a tight person. He was loose joints and easy laughter and a six-pack on the tailgate at sunset. But the voice on the phone sounded compressed, like something heavy was sitting on his chest.
"Everything okay with you two?" Rick asked.
"Fine. Great. We're great." The words came too fast. "So what's the gear situation? I've still got my old Prospector. Needs new gunwales, but the hull's solid."
They talked logistics for an hour. Rick had already planned most of it: two canoes, tandem, with dry bags and a barrel for food. He'd calculated calorie needs, packed a menu of freeze-dried meals supplemented with rice and oatmeal. He had a satellite phone rented from a shop in Prince George. He had bear spray, water filters, a comprehensive first-aid kit. He had a single paper topographic map, the only one that showed the Nolan Fork in any detail, photocopied from a survey archive at the provincial library.
"What about Steph?" Will asked. "You sure that's not going to be weird?"
"It's been eight years, Will."
"That's not what I asked."
Rick paused. "It'll be fine."
"Okay. If you say so." Will didn't sound convinced. "Listen, I gotta go. Andrea's giving me a look. I'll get her to text you."
Andrea texted the next morning: *I'm in. But I want to see the maps first.*
Rick drove to Smithers that weekend. He sat at Will and Andrea's kitchen table—a beautiful slab of live-edge fir that Will had milled himself—and spread out everything he had. The satellite images. The topo map. The forestry records. His hand-drawn route.
Andrea studied the materials with the focused intensity of someone who'd spent years reading water. She was thirty-four, lean and angular, with short dark hair and the kind of tan that came from being outside in all weather. She traced the contour lines with her finger, just as Rick had done.
"This canyon section," she said, tapping a spot where the lines nearly merged. "That's a significant drop. Could be a waterfall."
"Could be. Or it could be a long rapid."
"Or it could be a sieve. A strainer. A terminal hydraulic." She looked up. "You know we can't scout this from satellite images."
"I know. That's why we portage anything we can't see around."
"And if we can't portage? If the canyon walls are vertical?"
"Then we line the boats through. Or we turn around."
Andrea held his gaze for a long moment. Rick had always found her slightly intimidating—not because she was unkind, but because she was precise. She didn't waste words or tolerate waste in others.
"Okay," she said finally. "But I want veto power on any rapid we can't scout first."
"Done."
Will, who'd been leaning against the kitchen counter eating an apple, grinned. "This is going to be amazing."
Andrea didn't look at him. "We'll see," she said.
Rick noticed that she'd moved her chair slightly away from Will's end of the table. A small thing. The kind of thing you only notice if you're watching for it.
---
Steph drove up from Kamloops on a Friday in April. She arrived at Rick's apartment in the early evening, still in her paramedic uniform—navy blue pants, a fleece pullover with the BC Ambulance Service patch on the shoulder. She looked exactly the way Rick remembered and completely different. Her red hair was shorter, cropped close on the sides. There were new lines around her eyes. She moved with the same purposeful economy she'd always had, but there was something heavier in it now, a weariness that Rick recognized because he saw it in his own mirror.
"Nice place," she said, looking around the apartment. "Very bachelor."
"I prefer 'minimalist.'"
"You prefer not buying furniture." She sat on his couch—the only piece of furniture in the living room besides a bookshelf and a TV stand—and pulled her boots off. "Okay. Show me this river."
He showed her. She listened carefully, asked sharp questions about emergency protocols, water temperature, distance from medical facilities.
"Four days from the nearest road," she said. "And that's assuming we find this logging road."
"It's on the map."
"A map from the seventies. Rick, logging roads in BC get decommissioned and overgrown in a decade. This one's been abandoned for forty years."
"The bridge abutments should still be there. Concrete doesn't disappear."
"Concrete doesn't, but the road leading to it does." She folded her arms. "What's the backup plan?"
"Satellite phone. We can call for helicopter evacuation from anywhere along the route."
"And if we lose the satellite phone?"
Rick hesitated. He hadn't planned for that. "We won't lose the satellite phone."
Steph gave him a look he remembered well—the look that said she was cataloging his blind spots and would address them later, methodically, whether he liked it or not.
"I'll bring my own first-aid kit," she said. "A real one. Trauma supplies, splinting materials, medications. If someone gets hurt out there, I need to be able to stabilize them."
"Of course."
"And I want to see everyone's medical history before we go. Allergies, medications, pre-existing conditions. Everything."
Rick felt something cold move through his chest. "Sure," he said. "I'll send out a form."
"Good." She stretched her legs out and looked at the ceiling. "So. This is really happening."
"This is really happening."
"And you're sure it's not going to be weird? You and me in a canoe for two weeks?"
"We'll be in separate canoes."
"You know what I mean."
Rick sat down in the chair across from her. The distance between them felt calibrated—close enough to be friendly, far enough to be safe. "I'm sure," he said. "We're adults. We're friends. It'll be fine."
Steph looked at him for a long moment. "You look tired, Rick."
"I'm a teacher. I'm always tired."
"No, I mean—" She stopped herself. "Never mind. What's for dinner?"
He ordered pizza. They sat on the couch and talked about the trip, about logistics and gear lists and weather patterns. They did not talk about the two years they'd spent together, or the way it had ended, or the things they'd said and not said. They did not talk about why Steph was still single at thirty-four, or why Rick lived alone above a hardware store in a town where he knew everyone and no one knew him. They talked about the river.
It was easier that way.
---
In the weeks before the trip, Rick went about his life with the careful deliberateness of someone preparing to leave it behind. He finished the school year, graded final exams, wrote report cards. He cleaned his apartment. He paid his bills two months in advance. He wrote a letter to his mother in Kelowna and sealed it in an envelope marked "Just in case," which he left in his desk drawer.
He did not tell anyone about the appointment he'd had in February, at the neurology clinic in Vancouver. He did not tell anyone about the MRI that had shown lesions on his brain and spinal cord, bright white spots on the gray images like stars in a dark sky. He did not tell anyone about the diagnosis: relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, early onset, prognosis uncertain.
The neurologist—a calm, precise woman named Dr. Paulsen—had explained it with the practiced gentleness of someone who delivered bad news regularly. The disease was unpredictable. Some people lived decades with minimal symptoms. Others declined quickly. There were treatments, medications that could slow the progression. But there was no cure, and there was no way to know which path his body would take.
Rick had sat in her office and listened and nodded and asked the right questions. Then he'd driven home, seven hours through the mountains, and sat in his apartment in the dark for a long time.
The tingling in his hand had started three months before the appointment. At first, he'd assumed it was carpal tunnel, or a pinched nerve, or nothing. Then came the episodes of blurred vision—brief, lasting only minutes, but terrifying in their suddenness. Then the fatigue, a bone-deep exhaustion that no amount of sleep could touch.
He'd gone to his GP in Terrace, who'd referred him to Vancouver. The MRI had confirmed what the GP suspected. And Rick had told no one.
Not Will. Not Steph. Not his mother. Not the principal at his school, who would have to be told eventually, who would look at him with that particular expression—pity mixed with administrative concern—that Rick could already picture and already hated.
Instead, he'd planned a river trip.
It wasn't denial, exactly. He knew what was happening to him. He'd read everything he could find—medical journals, patient forums, memoirs by people living with MS. He understood the disease intellectually. What he couldn't understand, what he couldn't get his arms around, was the idea that his body was going to betray him. That the hands gripping a paddle, the legs bracing in a canoe, the eyes reading whitewater—all of it was temporary. More temporary than he'd thought.
So he planned a trip to a river nobody had paddled. He told himself it was about adventure, about doing something meaningful with old friends, about breaking free from the suffocating routine of his life. And all of that was true. But underneath it, in the place where he kept the things he couldn't say, the trip was something else entirely.
It was a farewell. Not to life—not yet—but to the version of himself that could do this. The version that could carry a canoe on his shoulders, run a rapid, hike through wilderness for days. That version had an expiration date now, and Rick wanted to use it before it was gone.
He filled out Steph's medical form. Under "pre-existing conditions," he wrote: "None."
He sealed the envelope and mailed it.