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Chapter 1
Chapter 1: Cul-de-Sac
The summer of 1986 arrived in Winfield, Ohio, the way summers always did—slowly at first, then all at once, like a match finally catching. One day the trees along Ridgemont Circle were still bare and dripping with late-April rain, and then seemingly overnight the whole street exploded into green, the lawns thick and buzzing with insects, the air heavy with the smell of cut grass and hot asphalt.
Scott Farnham was fourteen that summer, and he felt the change in everything. His body had stretched over the winter, leaving him gangly and uncertain in his own skin, his wrists poking past the cuffs of shirts his mother hadn't yet replaced. He was taller than his mother now, which embarrassed them both. His voice had settled into something lower but still unreliable, cracking at the worst moments—when he tried to answer questions in class, when he called out to friends across the yard. He'd learned to say less.
Ridgemont Circle was the kind of street that looked like it had been designed by someone who'd seen a picture of the American Dream and decided to build it from a kit. Eight houses arranged around a teardrop-shaped cul-de-sac, each one a variation on the same split-level ranch theme. The Farnhams' was pale yellow with brown shutters. The Hobbs house next door was white with green trim. Between them lay a strip of grass exactly twelve feet wide that both families mowed but neither claimed.
Scott's father, Dale Farnham, worked as a shift supervisor at the Goodyear plant in Akron, thirty miles east. He left before dawn and came home smelling of rubber and machine oil, his hands permanently stained gray no matter how hard he scrubbed them. He was a quiet man who believed in minding his own business the way some men believe in God—absolutely and without question. Scott's mother, Janet, worked part-time at the Winfield Public Library, shelving books and managing the summer reading program. She was the kind of woman other women described as "nice," which Scott had come to understand was a word that meant almost nothing.
They were good people. Scott believed that then. He would spend the rest of his life trying to figure out if it was true.
The Hobbs family next door was louder, messier, more present. Bonnie Grimes—she'd gone back to her maiden name after the divorce—had three kids: Chris, who was fifteen and Scott's best friend; Tommy, who was eleven and perpetually sunburned; and Dana, who was nine and quiet in a way that made adults call her "well-behaved" and other kids call her "weird." Bonnie worked at the Medina County Clerk's Office, which meant she knew everyone's business before they knew it themselves. Property records, court filings, marriage licenses, tax liens—it all crossed her desk. She collected information the way other women collected recipes, and she deployed it with the same casual expertise.
Bonnie was a big woman, not fat but solid, with broad shoulders and thick forearms and a voice that carried across the cul-de-sac like a siren. She wore her dark hair in a perm that she maintained religiously every six weeks at Connie's Salon on Main Street. She smiled often, a wide smile that showed all her teeth, and she was the first person to bring a casserole when someone was sick and the first to organize a neighborhood cookout and the first to know if someone's marriage was in trouble. The other parents on Ridgemont Circle liked her. They trusted her.
Scott liked her too, or thought he did. She always had Popsicles in her freezer and she let the kids stay up late watching movies on her big console television. She called Scott "kiddo" and ruffled his hair, even though he was getting too old for that. She was fun. That was the word everyone used. Bonnie was fun.
Chris Hobbs was the closest thing Scott had to a brother. They'd grown up together, riding bikes through the neighborhood, building forts in the woods behind the development, spending long summer days at the community pool. Chris was a year older and a head taller, with his mother's dark hair and a confidence that Scott envied. Where Scott was careful and watchful, Chris was bold. He was the one who dared other kids to jump off the high dive, who threw the first punch when someone talked trash, who always had a plan. He was also, Scott knew, desperate for his mother's approval in a way that made him do things he might not otherwise do. After the divorce—Chris's father had moved to Indiana and mostly stopped calling—Chris had become the man of the house, and he wore that role like armor.
The other families on Ridgemont Circle filled out the cast of Scott's childhood like extras in a movie he'd seen so many times he'd stopped noticing them. The Petermans at number four—Roger and Diane, both teachers at the middle school, always correcting everyone's grammar. The Saylors at number six—Bill was a plumber, his wife Connie stayed home with their three boys, all of whom were younger than Scott and perpetually in trouble. Old Mrs. Ketchum at number eight, a widow who watched the street from her front window like a sentinel and reported every infraction to whoever would listen. The Burkes at number two, newlyweds who kept to themselves and were therefore regarded with mild suspicion.
It was a small world, Ridgemont Circle. Everyone knew everyone. Everyone watched everyone. And everyone, Scott would learn, was capable of looking away.
---
The news about Alice came in May, before school let out.
Scott was in the kitchen eating cereal when his mother told him, her voice carrying that particular tone she used when delivering information she found both sad and interesting—a kind of practiced sympathy that never quite reached her eyes.
"Bonnie's sister passed away," Janet said, wiping down the counter even though it was already clean. "Lorraine. Down in Kentucky. Car accident, I think. Or was it—" She paused, cloth in hand, staring at the wall as if the details might be written there. "Anyway. She's gone. And she had a daughter. Sixteen years old. And Bonnie's going to take her in."
Scott looked up from his Cheerios. "Take her in like adopt her?"
"Like give her a home. The girl doesn't have anyone else. Father's been out of the picture for years." Janet shook her head. "It's a good thing Bonnie's doing. Christian thing."
"What's her name?"
"Alice. Alice Pennington."
Scott went back to his cereal. He didn't think much of it at the time. People came and went on Ridgemont Circle—not often, but it happened. A new kid was a new kid. He'd say hi, maybe she'd be cool, maybe she wouldn't. The machinery of his fourteen-year-old concerns—the last weeks of eighth grade, the approaching freedom of summer, whether Lisa Denton from homeroom would be at the pool—ground on without interruption.
Alice arrived on a Saturday in late May, the day after school let out. Scott was in his driveway shooting baskets—or trying to; he'd grown four inches but his coordination hadn't caught up—when a blue Oldsmobile pulled into the Hobbs driveway next door. Bonnie got out of the driver's side, and from the passenger side, slowly, like someone stepping out into weather they weren't sure about, came a girl.
She was thin. That was the first thing Scott noticed. Not skinny the way some girls were skinny, all angles and energy, but thin in a way that suggested something had been taken from her. She wore jeans and a gray sweatshirt despite the warmth, and her hair was dark blonde, hanging past her shoulders in a way that looked like it hadn't been brushed in a while. She carried a single duffel bag. One bag. Scott's mother had more luggage for a weekend trip to his grandmother's house.
Bonnie came around the car and put a hand on Alice's shoulder—a gesture that looked, from the driveway next door, like comfort. "Come on, hon," she said, loud enough for Scott to hear. "Let's get you settled."
Alice looked up then, and her eyes found Scott's across the twelve feet of grass between the houses. They were pale—blue or gray, he couldn't tell from that distance—and they held an expression he wouldn't be able to name until much later. It wasn't sadness, exactly, though sadness was part of it. It was the look of someone who had already learned that the world was not a safe place and was simply waiting to find out what shape the danger would take this time.
She didn't smile. She didn't wave. She just looked at him, and then Bonnie's hand tightened on her shoulder—Scott saw the fingers press in, though he didn't register it as significant, not then—and guided her inside.
The door closed.
Scott stood in his driveway with the basketball on his hip, staring at the Hobbs house, feeling something he couldn't quite identify settle in his chest. It wasn't his crush yet—that would come later, built on proximity and pity and the particular alchemy of adolescence. It was something simpler and older. The feeling you get when you see an animal caught in a trap and don't yet know what kind.
He bounced the ball twice, took a shot, and missed. The ball rolled down the driveway and into the street. He let it go.
---
The first week of summer unfolded in its usual rhythm. Scott slept until nine, ate cereal in front of the television, and spent his afternoons at the community pool or riding bikes with Chris. The heat was building—not yet the brutal, unrelenting heat of July and August, but a steady warmth that made the asphalt soft and the air shimmer above the rooftops.
He saw Alice a few times that first week, always briefly. She was in the Hobbs backyard once, hanging laundry on the line—which struck him as odd because he'd never seen Chris or Tommy or Dana do chores outside. She was sitting on the front step another time, alone, her arms wrapped around her knees, staring at nothing. When Scott waved, she lifted a hand but didn't hold it up long.
Chris didn't talk about her much. When Scott asked what she was like, Chris shrugged.
"She's okay. Quiet. Kind of a downer."
"I mean, her mom just died."
"Yeah." Chris threw a rock at a stop sign and missed. "My mom says she's got problems. Like, behavior problems. Got kicked out of her school in Kentucky."
"For what?"
"I don't know. Lying and stuff. Stealing maybe. My mom says her sister—Alice's mom—couldn't handle her. That's why she was drinking so much. That's what killed her, actually. She was drunk when she crashed."
Scott absorbed this. It didn't match the quiet girl he'd seen on the front step, but he was fourteen and had no reason to doubt Chris, who had no reason to doubt his mother.
"My mom's trying to straighten her out," Chris said. "Give her some structure. She says Alice never had any."
"That's nice of her."
"Yeah." Chris found another rock and threw it. This time it pinged off the sign with a satisfying clang. "My mom's like that."
They rode to the pool and didn't talk about Alice again for three days.
---
The first thing that unsettled Scott happened on a Tuesday evening, the second week of June.
He was in his backyard, lying in the grass and watching fireflies begin their nightly performance, when he heard Bonnie's voice through the open windows of the Hobbs kitchen. Sound carried easily between the houses, especially in summer when everyone had their windows open to catch whatever breeze might come.
"I said set the table for four, not five."
A pause. Then Alice's voice, so quiet Scott had to strain to hear it: "I thought—"
"You don't think. That's not your job here. Your job is to do what you're told. Four places. You eat after."
"After?"
"After we're done. You can have whatever's left. And you're welcome for it."
Scott sat up in the grass. He could see through the kitchen window—just shapes, really, the overhead light turning everything into silhouettes. Bonnie's broad form. Alice's thinner one. The other kids were elsewhere in the house; he could hear the television going in the living room.
"I don't know why I have to explain every little thing," Bonnie said, and now her voice had dropped into something lower, something that wasn't a yell but was somehow worse than one. "You are a guest in this house. You eat when I say you eat. You sit where I say you sit. Is that clear?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Don't 'ma'am' me like you're some little Southern belle. You're not fooling anyone with that act."
A clatter—a plate being set down hard, or maybe dropped. Then Bonnie's voice again, sharp: "Pick that up. Pick it up right now."
Scott lay back down in the grass. His heart was beating faster than it should have been. He stared at the fireflies and tried to tell himself that what he'd heard was just discipline. Bonnie was strict. Everyone knew that. Chris complained about it sometimes—the chore charts, the rules about television, the way she checked their homework even though school was out. Structure, Chris called it, the word borrowed from his mother's mouth.
But Alice wasn't allowed to eat with the family. That detail lodged in Scott's mind like a splinter, too small to remove but impossible to ignore.
He mentioned it to his mother the next morning, carefully, the way you'd test a bruise.
"I heard Bonnie telling Alice she couldn't eat with them."
Janet was packing her lunch for work, moving with the efficient, distracted energy of a woman whose mind was already somewhere else. "Eat with them?"
"At the table. She said Alice had to eat after everyone else was done."
His mother paused, a sandwich bag in one hand. "Well, Bonnie's got her hands full. Three kids of her own and now this girl. Maybe it's just easier."
"Easier?"
"Logistically. You know. Space at the table."
Their table sat six. Scott knew the Hobbs table was the same model—they'd bought them at the same Sears sale. But he didn't say this. His mother had already moved on, zipping her lunch bag, checking her watch.
"I'm sure Bonnie knows what she's doing," Janet said. "She's doing a very kind thing, taking that girl in. Not everyone would."
She kissed Scott on the forehead and left for work. He sat at the kitchen table—all six chairs empty—and finished his orange juice.
---
Scott saw Alice up close for the first time three days later.
He was cutting through the Hobbs backyard on his way to Chris's room—they had a standing arrangement to meet up after lunch—when he found her on her hands and knees in the garden, pulling weeds. It was ninety-two degrees. She was wearing long sleeves.
She looked up when his shadow fell across her, and for a moment she flinched—a full-body recoil, like a dog that's been kicked too many times. Then she saw it was just him, just the neighbor kid, and she settled back on her heels.
"Hey," Scott said. "I'm Scott. From next door."
"I know." Her voice was hoarse, like she hadn't used it in a while. "I've seen you."
Up close, she looked older than sixteen and younger at the same time. Her face was angular, cheekbones prominent, the skin beneath her eyes bruised with exhaustion. But her eyes themselves—they were gray, he could see now, a clear, pale gray like winter sky—were sharp and present, taking him in with an intelligence that made him feel suddenly exposed.
"You're Alice," he said, and immediately felt stupid.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry about your mom."
Something moved across her face—a flicker, there and gone. "Thanks."
He stood there, hands in his pockets, casting around for something else to say. "You want some water or something? It's really hot."
"I'm fine."
"You sure? I can—"
"I'm fine." She said it with a finality that closed the conversation like a door. Then, softer: "But thanks."
She went back to the weeds. Scott went inside to find Chris, who was in his room reading a comic book with the fan blowing directly on his face.
"Your cousin's out there in the heat," Scott said.
"She's not my cousin."
"She kind of is."
Chris didn't look up from his comic. "My mom says she needs to earn her keep. She doesn't just get to live here for free."
"She's pulling weeds in ninety-degree heat."
"So? I mowed the lawn yesterday."
This was true. But Chris had mowed the lawn in shorts and a tank top, with breaks for lemonade, and had been done in thirty minutes. Alice had been out there since—Scott didn't know how long. He let it go.
They played Nintendo for two hours, and when Scott left through the back door, Alice was still in the garden. The pile of weeds beside her had grown enormous. Her face was red and slick with sweat, and she was moving slowly, mechanically, like a machine running low on power.
Scott stopped. "Are you sure you don't want—"
"Please," she said, and the word came out cracked. "Just go."
He went.
That night, lying in bed with his window open, he heard Bonnie's voice again, drifting across the narrow gap between the houses. He couldn't make out all the words this time, just the tone—low, steady, relentless, the way water wears at stone. And once, clearly, two words that rose above the rest like a fist raised above a crowd:
"The burden."
Scott pulled his pillow over his head and tried to sleep.